JUMP TO: Entertaining | Gesticulations | Greetings | Tipping
Italy has some particular etiquette requirements, some manners which are contrary to or different from even their neighboring countries. What is listed herein is oftentimes the more formal approach, or at least the minimum required in order to avoid potential embarrassment.
​
Americans, Brits, and other English-speaking foreigners are often made fun of by Italians due to lapses in what Italians consider to be appropriate etiquette; consequently, this section is included for Women in Italy to demonstrate that well-informed women can avoid the all-too-common cultural faux-pas!
How many people to seat at the dinner table, various ways to say "Cheers", and other curious dining customs to make sure you don't make a gaff...
​
Seating
NEVER seat 13 at a table- as Italy is a very religious country 13 at a table is correlated to Leonardo Da Vinci’s “Last Supper” and the biblical story of Christ with 12 others at his last supper. If worst comes to worst and a guest shows-up with an uninvited date or leaves their date at home, either split the table into two separate seatings, or quickly invite a 14th guest.
Eating
While we all know how delicious Italian food is, and especially are often sad to see that last little bit of scrumptious sauce left in the plate, there is a semi-accepted method for ensuring it not go to waste. The Italians call this “fare la scarpetta” which means to make a little shoe. Take a small piece of bread and use it to collect and eat the left-over sauce. While it is not appropriate to do so at formal eating engagements, this method is accepted in most informal situations.
Pasta: many non-Italians will ask for a large spoon to aid in twirling their pasta around their fork. This is NOT acceptable etiquette. The proper way to eat long pasta is to isolate a few strands on the side of the plate or bowl and then twirl the fork allowing it to form an edible-size bite. If the bite begins to become to large, start over with fewer strands. And NEVER, EVER cut your pasta!
​
Drinking / Toasting
When toasting, always look into the other person’s eyes when toasting. If you don’t, the superstitious Italians say you will BOTH have 7 years of bad sex.
"Cin-Cin"
When pouring wine into glasses around the table, if you are trying to avoid other carafes or glasses, NEVER pour the wine from the bottle by turning your hand backwards over your wrist. This is interpreted as dishonor to or mistrust of the one you are pouring for. It happened once to one of our members in Sicily, and the entire restaurant went silent... there it is actually a mafia threat!
​
Teetotalers
Even if you abstain from drinking alcohol, for the Italians it is bad luck to toast with water. Therefore, if you do not have a non-water drink, elegantly accept a glass of wine or champagne to use in the toast gesture. You may then place the glass on the table and leave it untouched. However, in some regions of Italy it is considered bad luck or an insult to not drink from the glass after a toast has been given. Your best course of action is to either take a very small sip, or to explain that you are "astemia" ( a non-drinker) so people don't think you are abstaining because you don't wish to participate in the good wishes of the toast that has been given.
​
Curious Customs
Italy has some wonderful traditions brought forward from medieval ages or times of the true noblemen. For example, one wonderful tradition which still lingers denotes that if you were to arrive at a castle on horseback, the hosts will offer you hospitality of a drink and a hot meal.
While the Italian language is one of the most beautiful in the world, it is not the easiest to learn. However don’t fret; Italians speak so much with their hands that one can normally decipher at least a portion of a conversation just be following the gesticulations and facial expressions. Therefore, jump-in, speak with your hands and listen with your eyes!
​
Here are a couple of sites to teach you how to speak Italian with your hands or listen with your eyes!
​
Note: Do be careful of trying to fit-in with the locals by using gestures as with intended meanings of some hand signs, reversing the direction can also reverse the meaning!
​
​
How does one properly greet others in Italy? There's all that kissing yet never a hug!
Cheek-Kissing
When greeting a person in Italy, if they are not known to you or it is a very formal situation, a firm handshake is the norm. However, when you either know the person, or it is an informal, more familiar introduction, cheek-kissing is expected.
To avoid any unwanted indelicacies of “meeting in the middle” or doing a bad interpretation of rap head-bobbing, please be aware that contrary to the French and Spanish (and many other nationalities), Italians begin with the LEFT cheeks touching in the two-cheek “air-kiss.” Also remember that while cheek contact is normal, in no way should one’s lips ever touch the other’s cheek. The worst possible gaff is to leave a bright lipstick mark on your unsuspecting victim’s cheek.
It is absolutely not true that Italians don't tip! Whether you are in a restaurant or hotel, or perhaps have annual services provided to you be certain people such as your apartment doorman, read here when it is expected, when it is required, and when it is a simple nicety that only foreigners do.
​
Restaurants / Bars
Tipping in Italy is as it should be, an extra little something to demonstrate appreciation for extra service. Sales tax (VAT) is already included in your meal bill, so any extra amount should be IN CASH as it is directly for your server. Typical amounts are single bills €5, 10, 20 and should never include change except when you are leaving the rest from what the bill stated and what was paid (for example an espresso costs you €1.75, you can leave the other 25 cents as a tip).
​
Generally, it is customary to tip when the host sits you before other people waiting, or gives you a particularly nice table. If a waiter gives you more personal suggestions, helps with wine/food pairings, or allows substitutions, this is a case in which a tip is mandatory. Furthermore, when considering tipping, also consider the “free” samples or little tastes, or complimentary digestive you are offered as goodwill which should be compensated. Especially if you plan to return to the same restaurant and do not want poor service the next time, please tip appropriately.